is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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