I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Semen is not good for contacts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
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