So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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