Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
