Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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