Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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