Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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