Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
