I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
