I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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