My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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