it's like heaven, but drunker
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
