We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
His hands were made for my vagina.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
