when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
