I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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