yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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