We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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