North Korea, Best Korea!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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