I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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