hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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