Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
