Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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