Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
