are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
