i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
