what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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