fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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