True but thats because hes a fetus.
Don't make out with my wife yet
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
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i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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