End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
