Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
When did angry sex become our thing?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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