you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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