chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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