How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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