Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
