i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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