I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
