I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
