she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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