I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
