I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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