Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
My ATM looks so different sober.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize