Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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