the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
