All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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