My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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