I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
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I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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