She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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