I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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