marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
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