I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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