You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
