This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
