Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
