I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize