I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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