I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
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